Autumn Giant cauliflowers... at the second attempt. The first lot were scoffed by slugs a few weeks ago. My blood pressure is only now coming under control.
Actually, it's total purgatory growing cauliflowers. There is nothing, but nothing, in your favour. Every bird wants a piece of them. Pests and diseases delight in them.
So you obsess about netting solutions. You launch tragi-comic nocturnal slug hunts by torchlight. You chase white butterflies with toy nets stolen from five-year-olds.
You have the same dreams about pigeons that Nero dreamed about Christians.
And ultimately, no doubt, you end up suffering a twitching, frothing, cauliflower nervous breakdown.
Watch this space.